Et aujourd'hui

1) When I see your face, I can't see it.
2) Or that.
3) I want to belong so badly. Because I feel separated from everything. Not in an angsty, emotional way. In a glass pane way, that is just not allowing me to touch you. And my voice comes out warbled. Usually. But in a big way, I wish that I could remember how to be new and exciting. I wish I could just fall backwards. And take a large-ish step and wonder what it would've been like.
Except then, of course...
I wouldn't be the same. And I won't be the same.
Yeah, this came out all wrong. Bottom line is...
I wish I remembered how to start, how to be interesting, and how to speak Englash good.
English AP, I need eloquence.
Literature, grant me the eloquence to...somethingsomethinghebebla. Here is an indie house. Nobody lives there.

Okay, let me try again.
Sometimes, I wonder if I could go back in time and just change one little thing, one decision, one...hebebla, if it would really have made such a huge impact. And also, if I was not the same person, (except I hate it when people say that, not the same person, No, Fuck you, you will always be the same person, bla bla bla essence bla but also helloooo genotypes), but disregarding that, if I was a little bit different, in what ways would I be different, and would I be better equipped to deal with things I have to deal with. Like, if I was in a video game, and let's say I died, (oh, approximately a few months ago?) and then I was sent back to the first level, and came out with different amounts of those little gold floating coins, or a smaller or larger amount of lives left, or just different magical throwing sheep or what have you. And so now I am on the same level, facing the eminent attack of the glittering gorilla guerillas where I misstepped last time (on an explosive Dark Peacock pebble) , but I have different assets, different allies, different...me. Different me.
Would I like this different me?
Would I accept a do-over, or would I just go to bed after I died the first time?
All this talk of dying.
It's just a metaphor, so you know. It's getting rather dark, though. Figuratively...Literally...Shmiterally...

Yeah, I'm done here.
Back into my indie house?