Why am I worrying about all this right now? By worrying, I am ruining the things that are good right now. But I can't stop myself from worrying, and thinking, and stewing. What will happen now? Tomorrow?
In a year from now?
Also, to be noted:
I can't seem to find myself in the things that I am good at. Why are things that are so effortless, also passionless? Convenient, rendering, and making me feel accomplished, yes. But where is the drive? Where is the soul? Why can't I be more like them- so sure of where they are and what they are meant to do. For them, success is no big deal. For them, the success is the self-accomplishing and blissful feeling of passion in an area where natural prodigy thrives.
And then there is the pride, and the reputations, and the stories that they are recognized by. Not on purpose. Well, yes, on purpose. Well, no.
Do you get it, now?
What if it doesn't work that way?
Everyone wants to make something of themselves. Everyone wants a name, everyone wants to
be recognized. But when I think about that, I don't want it; I need to do something more with my
life. With myself. With me. It seems that I am the only one out of us that doesn't know where she's
headed.
I want so bad to know.
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