Pas de voix

I have been absent from the blogosphere for a while, and I have time now, and little else, (i.e. motivation to do math homework, I told you so), I figured I would sit down and write about some things that are going through my mind.

one- I am, by nature, unreasonable, not in a screwy social-studies-esque political way, but just in a very human way. I am unfair, I am selfish, I expect way too much out of the both of us. But as much as I realize this, shouldn't you want to do all these things that I don't expect, but secretly want to, at the same time, like you used to, I think, but I can't remember. I need a teddy bear, tea, a sunset, something to do other than moan and groan. I am in a strange...

two- I am in a strange mood.

three- The world is closing in on me a little bit, I feel. It's nobody's fault but my own that I'm stressed. I know myself, or at least I should. I know when I am stressed that I become emotional and that nobody but you generally has to see it or put up with it.

four- You probably wonder why I am happy around some people, and not around you. No, I don't feel like I'm putting up  a face for them. I just feel like subconsciously, probably, I need to create around me and atmosphere of joviality and smiles lest I cut off all of my hair and color my toenails with a sharpie. I think. And maybe around you I can, subconsciously, let go a little bit, and that's why you get all the mixed/mangled sentences, the tired eyes, the grabby hands, the wet noses.

five- I wonder what life would be like with a wet nose. Probably, more humid.

six- You're strange, and I think you understand some things about brains that not a lot of other people can. But I think it might have simultaneously freaked me out and reassured me. I can't wait until Hannah comes over. I need my Hannah right now, I think.

seven- I actually wanted my Rachel and Allison too, and my Kaylie. But them gals are absent from my schedule tonight.

eight- I miss... smelling warmness. I guess in that way, I also miss tasting warmness. I think instead of warmness, the word I should use is warmth. But I'm kind of chilly right now.

nine- I wish I had a cat. I think I'm a cat person. I'm sorry. I also like movies that other people find boring. I like reading long, psychological and emotional books. I like to do things more than I like to hang out. I like waking up early and going for runs outside. I like going to plays. I need raw emotion. I like raw, emotive songs, and I love, I LOVE, musicals. It's not going to change. Maybe I need to figure that out. What is wrong with me?
I'm just not that bendy.